Confidence is something that needs to be developed, but how do you develop it? As a kid, I had no confidence. Today, I am walking, breathing, living proof that confidence can be learned and developed. When I first came to Canada, I had zero – and I mean zero – confidence. I was the invisible kid. I was the kid who would sit in the very back of the classroom, and I would never ask any questions because I couldn’t speak a word of English. I didn’t know how to connect with people or how to talk to people. I remember that I would finish class and purposely look down at the floor when walking the halls at school, to avoid making eye contact with anybody. I was afraid of people and afraid to connect with anybody – because I had not one shred of self-confidence.
If you look at me today, you’d never guess that I once had such extreme issues with self-confidence. Today, I carry myself with my head held high. I am successful in my business, I give motivational speeches to thousands of audience members, I teach entrepreneurship to thousands of students, I have hundreds of thousands of followers on social media. Needless to say, I became a very confident person.
Confidence is Internal
Sometimes, people confuse confidence with arrogance. For example, the macho men with a ton of attitude who walk around puffing out their chests – they aren’t confident. That’s not confidence. That’s either insecurity or arrogance. A truly confident person will never feel the need to puff out their chest or act macho. They simply feel confident within, regardless of the outside perception. Confidence is internal.
Confidence Comes From Competence
Confidence often comes from your competence or capabilities. If you lack direction, skills, passion, or you don’t feel like you’re good at anything – you probably will lack self-confidence.
When you develop skills, competence, and you start to feel like you’re great at something you’re doing – you’ll really start to develop confidence. If you commit to something that you’re good at, people will start taking notice and start telling you how good you are. Your confidence will grow and grow the more you realize your competence.
It Matters Who You Surround Yourself With
Think about the people you surround yourself with. Your friends, family, colleagues – how many of them have true self-confidence? If your role models don’t display real, inner self-confidence, it’ll be less likely that you’ll feel confident.
Confidence Is Built Up, Brick by Brick
When I was learning how to do public speaking, I went to Toastmasters meetings to learn and practice the art of public speaking. When I went to my first Toastmasters meeting, I had no confidence. I was so nervous, my face was pale, and I was holding a piece of paper that was impossible to read from because I was shaking so much. I couldn’t deliver a speech. I would stutter and I just couldn’t do it. But I didn’t give up. I kept at it, and kept practicing, and I got a little bit better. I kept getting better at delivering my speeches, and one day, someone from the audience told me I’m a good speaker.
Once I started getting more compliments on my public speaking, and I started getting more validation, my confidence was building. One brick at a time, my confidence was building itself up.
Resilience Reflects Confidence
In business, I have messed up before and lost a lot of money. I would build my business back up, however, and I would always recover. Being resilient and being able to recover from business-related mistakes helped me become even more confident in myself. It gave me confidence to remember that my business wasn’t successful by default – it was successful by design. My business is successful because of how I designed it. I know that if I lost everything, I’d be fully capable of building everything back up again, because of who I am and what I’m capable of as a person. Now that is confidence. Approach any business venture or meeting with that type of confidence, and nothing will stop you.
Confidence Always Has a Foundation
Confidence is built on substance. It has a foundation. It is not an illusion. Of course you’ll have confidence if you’re good at what you do, and you’re doing something you’re proud of. The number one thing that will give you confidence is witnessing what you’re capable of. So, get out there and get sh*t done. Make sh*t happen. Get good at something. Once you have developed an unshakable inner confidence, nobody can take it away from you, and nothing will stop you.
Comment below if you’re going to get good at what you do so you can have unshakable inner confidence.